Days like today are my favorite (plus, it's Sunday, which I've mentioned in previous entries as my fave day, so it's only fitting..)
Lately I've been confused, to say the least. Confused, frustrated, uncertain, and emotionally overwhelmed. Why? Great question. I'd been trying to figure it out myself for the past few weeks, and finally I realized today during my run. As I started running behind the dorms, I took in the swerving sidewalks. It was then that I noticed I could cut right through the fairly large span of grass to reach the sidewalk much closer to my destination. It seemed like a super difficult mental game to keep myself on the sidewalk, taking all my might to focus on what was ahead, not on the tempting short cut a few footsteps out of reach.
I managed to make it all the way around the sidewalk without the short-cut, but then I really felt like God was trying to show me something (Obviously, this staying on the path was a much more dramatic scenario then I'd planned..). He told me I was doing this in many areas in my life. I've been so focused on the shortcut next to me, and it's possibly being much more easy going, that I've forgotten to just look at where God has placed me at this exact moment. I've forgotten to just endure the situations he's provided for my growth, and just taken the short cut.
It feels like I've been taking every short-cut possible in..
Discipline of my actions--much easier to just give in, but I won't experience God like he's planned.
Relationships-- Spending time, making a phone call, taking a moment to listen; I've taken the short-cut of placing each action of loving into my own schedule, and to ultimately fulfill my needs when the word says..
| 1Jo 3:16 | By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. |
Devoting myself to God -- I schedule him in appropriately, and the greatest short-cut of all is that I have completely disregarded the power of the holy spirit. I have been praying these simple prayers, ones that are comfortable, not these extravagant prayers, because I've been doubting his ability. I have created a short-cut that allows me to not really be established or challenged through my experiences when he wants the power of the holy spirit dwelling in his children to be used. By taking a quicker route, I lose sight of how the spirit can break his child just to build them back up in the way he sees best fit.
My desires-- I'm practically telling God I don't believe he can truly satisfy, and so I take short-cuts and let my emotions take charge instead of allowing him to be my strength during weakness, and confessing where I need help. My desire to have control is stripping me of the gift of growing into a woman of God and experiencing his love (way better than any emotion I can muster) the way he planned.
Thankful for where I've been-- This too, a short-cut, I have focused so much on where I'm headed, that God has had to take me back to my roots(ish). I took a shortcut to pride, that I have been reminded of what I've been saved from. It's sad when you somehow lose sight of how transforming God's love is. Trust me, he'll remind you.
My priorities-- Excuses, excuses, excuses = shortcuts. I remember how frustrated I used to get when I'd create selfish reasons as to why I couldn't be somewhere. And here I am again. Shortcuts in priorities I feel are ultimately selfish. I'm missing out on the life-on-life relationships that God placed in my path. A chance to hear what others are dealing with, and to listen, and to share. Yes, I'm a student, and that's something to glorify God in, but.. exactly that, the whole point is glorifying HIM not myself, my worries, my excuses..
 Psa 119:36 | Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! |
love-- I turned it to the world, and people in the world before my God. I've left him standing at the altar, with the holes in his hands, weeping. He gave himself up for me, but I put everything before him and took advantage of the gift of love he provided. I took a short-cut by loving the world before him, when I could be experiencing him as my first love, being totally and madly in love with him.
Gosh, I know there are tons more, but just think about it. Where are you taking short-cuts, and how is it effecting each aspect of your life?
Lord, thank you for loving me like you do. Thank you for even caring enough to seek me out, and to show where I went wrong. I pray you break my heart that's so hardened by taking the easy way out. You never said loving you wouldn't be a challenge, but you did promise to hold me the entire way. God, help me to fall so deeply in love with you that it's something I just cannot go a second without. If anyone is struggling with these things as well God, I just pray you remind them of your provision and that you remind them that you've known you would catch them when they fell since the day they were created. Break them down, God, continue to reveal how pale in comparison our plans are when yours prevail. I love you so much, Dad. Thank you, thank you, thank you . In your son's name- Amen.
His love.
