take heart!

down time:) alas.

One week has come and gone sadly just as fast as I imagined it would. The roller coaster of a schedule has definitely taken its toll, but clas

ses are so great, people are wonderful, and the Lord remains faithful-- How often do I doubt that? And how silly of me to even question that my God will move. He's awesome, you know?

It's been a week filled with a fair share of convictions. After the summer my life certainly isn't the same, but coming back to this home and these surroundings, it's ridiculous how quick I am to fall back into old habits. Even with the downfalls, it's been a real sweet time to see how the Word comes into play when I begin to fall. Also really interesting to see how I've reacted. In some instances I've allowed the Lord to take control, in others, I've tried to manipulate the Word, somehow managing to make it seem okay since I'm giving him control of other aspects of my messy life. That, my friends, is not alright, and of that I am wellllllll aware. That's just sad. So, I woke up this morning, opened the sweet Bibe, and lone behold, Psalm 95:6-8

"Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord , our Maker!

For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.." Well, there it is; I've been straight up hardening my heart; being cold towards my Dad. It feels like it takes so much will power and makes living so much more difficult, and yet, I do it. Ridiculous. Ridiculously stubborn, haha. Just gotta keep praying the Lord will strip me of that dang stubbornness, that's not an attractive trait by any means. . BUT the fact that I know the Lord is changing and renewing my heart and spirit inwardly and outwardly(2 cr 4:16 ;) is enough to keep from being discouraged. Take heart! eh? (Reminder to self, quit saying 'eh'--not from Canada..) but seriously.. Proverbs 28:14 "Blessed is the one who fears the lord always, but whoever hardens his heart falls into calamity." So, so true. Learning that the hard way. Pieces of joy time, yay:) CLASSES!!! ...but seriously, i love them :) JULES GETTING ENGAGED!!!!!! She'll make such a beautiful bride. And Eric is so great, too. Gosh:) attempting to decorate my room feeling grown up volleyball in the rain! trying to rid my sweet watch tanline, leaving my wrist severely burnt seeing my housemates being reunited with old friends walks in the forest good conversation going through wedding mags with jules getting to know some seriously humble folks awkward moments buying a curtain that's atleast 2 feet shorter than the other my bed rolling around on the hardwood floor every second carrying Mason Mac to class:) being re-taught guitar, and discovering my complete lack of rhythm, but still loving it, and admiring those who can play my sweet new job in the University Television station, thank you Lord for that hearing about people's summers and being super encouraged seeing my beach projecters! new friends:) sorting through dozens of pictures still not having my television plugged in, and enjoying it running up the hills in Milledge, and feeling it. discovering that the Lord will provide energy to get through the day going to the laundry mat and running out of money, then running to cvs across the street to get more money, and the coin machine at the mat eating my 5 dolla bill...sweeeet loving Mass Communications, haha, nerd. being reunited with elle:) jules' "blingin' ring!" making pizza! and salad! and brownies with jake. AND it tasted great:) who would've thought. laughing to the point of tears while taking pictures on Mason-- ie: tae and i on a rollercoaster, obviously.hahah.. that's all for now:) hope you're amused his love.

do not fear.

What a great summer:)

Never thought I'd miss Daytona, Florida, and yet here I am, honestly wishing I could go back. I could go without a few of the Makai's "luxuries", but still, it was home.

The week back here in Fayetteville has been challenging to say the least, check-mark on the culture shock, but it's been so sweet to see how the Lord is using all the training in different aspects of life. He's revealing more and more how dependent I have to be on him. It's an odd feeling when you realize you have zero control over your own life. I'd say it's peace. Sad when I'd forgotten what that feels like. It came so naturally when you were surrounded by this community of love all summer. But it's an even greater peace when it's among all the ruckus surrounding me. hm, thank you Lord.

Was reminded today that being afraid, which is the opposite of trusting the lord, is a sin. Dang. My mind has been reeling with sin over fear of where the lord might lead me, or rather, where I know he's calling me for upcoming days.

I thought I'd be so eager to, i guess, indulge in all the material things I was without at beach project, but it was really sweet to see how none of those things are sufficient. Not my favorite television show, not my new mac ("Mason", though he works much better than Dellie), not my own bed, not the fully stocked fridge, and not even having free time. Reminds me of John 14:27-

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

God is proving this truth to be, well, true, now more than ever. Ha, imagine that:)

All in all, Beach project was seriously life changing. As cliche as that might sound. It's just so neat to see how He honors our prayers to challenge our hearts and to really change us from the inside, out. He does it, that's for sure. And he'll teach you how insufficient you are and that he really has to be your strength through those times. Funny, he doesn't have to be here for me; he doesn't have to care and guide me through life, but he is:) Shew, thank you, Dad. That's some grace.

Pieces of joy!

1) friends from home; spending time with them and their genuine interest in my summer.

2) feeling ridiculous while attempting to ichat

3) my mom talking in this squeaky voice 24/7, where did this come from?...hahah..gosh.

4) laser show! and wet bottoms after sitting on the previously rained-on grass

5) having ADD and not watching a single pitch or hit of the Braves game

6) going to a braves game and laser show all in a 5 hour span; hooray, atl!

7) wandering aimlessly around the house the first day home, in complete culture shock

8) seeing summer and mike outside of the Makai- weird, but great:)

9) RITAS lives on-- meeting with SBP friends and eating italian ice. Swedish fish flavored italian ice, to be exact. (not recommended)

10) laughing out loud at text messages

11) not being able to break the Barnes and Nobel habit; I'm here at this very moment.

12) not having unpacked from beach project, ahah..

13) getting to share my summer with the youth group's bible study:)

14) watching Sneaker Night Extreme on youtube for the first time in moooonths

15) Going to mom's new school and seeing all my old teachers from kindergarten, and my telling them I am a Junior in College, then their reaction.

16) buying school supplies. and my notebooks matching. Good news, I'm still lame:)

17) my sister

18) seeing my dad's heart change:) the lord is good.

19) laughing at how sore I am from running in Georgia. Hills are no fun.

20) browsing through pictures from beach project:)

21) going back to Milledgeville in the am!

22) cheerleading starting up tomorrow. we'll be practicing in the suuunshine for four hours. Coach texted "bring sunscreen" haha, sweet.

23) feeling like I'm 80 and not being able to remember what all has gone on this past week.

24) jboi cutting his locks!

25)learning (the hard way) what it looks like to live a life compelled by His love.

the end for now:)

hislove.

just came across this:)mm.

(Psalm 34:9-14)

Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.