take heart!

down time:) alas.

One week has come and gone sadly just as fast as I imagined it would. The roller coaster of a schedule has definitely taken its toll, but clas

ses are so great, people are wonderful, and the Lord remains faithful-- How often do I doubt that? And how silly of me to even question that my God will move. He's awesome, you know?

It's been a week filled with a fair share of convictions. After the summer my life certainly isn't the same, but coming back to this home and these surroundings, it's ridiculous how quick I am to fall back into old habits. Even with the downfalls, it's been a real sweet time to see how the Word comes into play when I begin to fall. Also really interesting to see how I've reacted. In some instances I've allowed the Lord to take control, in others, I've tried to manipulate the Word, somehow managing to make it seem okay since I'm giving him control of other aspects of my messy life. That, my friends, is not alright, and of that I am wellllllll aware. That's just sad. So, I woke up this morning, opened the sweet Bibe, and lone behold, Psalm 95:6-8

"Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord , our Maker!

For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.." Well, there it is; I've been straight up hardening my heart; being cold towards my Dad. It feels like it takes so much will power and makes living so much more difficult, and yet, I do it. Ridiculous. Ridiculously stubborn, haha. Just gotta keep praying the Lord will strip me of that dang stubbornness, that's not an attractive trait by any means. . BUT the fact that I know the Lord is changing and renewing my heart and spirit inwardly and outwardly(2 cr 4:16 ;) is enough to keep from being discouraged. Take heart! eh? (Reminder to self, quit saying 'eh'--not from Canada..) but seriously.. Proverbs 28:14 "Blessed is the one who fears the lord always, but whoever hardens his heart falls into calamity." So, so true. Learning that the hard way. Pieces of joy time, yay:) CLASSES!!! ...but seriously, i love them :) JULES GETTING ENGAGED!!!!!! She'll make such a beautiful bride. And Eric is so great, too. Gosh:) attempting to decorate my room feeling grown up volleyball in the rain! trying to rid my sweet watch tanline, leaving my wrist severely burnt seeing my housemates being reunited with old friends walks in the forest good conversation going through wedding mags with jules getting to know some seriously humble folks awkward moments buying a curtain that's atleast 2 feet shorter than the other my bed rolling around on the hardwood floor every second carrying Mason Mac to class:) being re-taught guitar, and discovering my complete lack of rhythm, but still loving it, and admiring those who can play my sweet new job in the University Television station, thank you Lord for that hearing about people's summers and being super encouraged seeing my beach projecters! new friends:) sorting through dozens of pictures still not having my television plugged in, and enjoying it running up the hills in Milledge, and feeling it. discovering that the Lord will provide energy to get through the day going to the laundry mat and running out of money, then running to cvs across the street to get more money, and the coin machine at the mat eating my 5 dolla bill...sweeeet loving Mass Communications, haha, nerd. being reunited with elle:) jules' "blingin' ring!" making pizza! and salad! and brownies with jake. AND it tasted great:) who would've thought. laughing to the point of tears while taking pictures on Mason-- ie: tae and i on a rollercoaster, obviously.hahah.. that's all for now:) hope you're amused his love.

do not fear.

What a great summer:)

Never thought I'd miss Daytona, Florida, and yet here I am, honestly wishing I could go back. I could go without a few of the Makai's "luxuries", but still, it was home.

The week back here in Fayetteville has been challenging to say the least, check-mark on the culture shock, but it's been so sweet to see how the Lord is using all the training in different aspects of life. He's revealing more and more how dependent I have to be on him. It's an odd feeling when you realize you have zero control over your own life. I'd say it's peace. Sad when I'd forgotten what that feels like. It came so naturally when you were surrounded by this community of love all summer. But it's an even greater peace when it's among all the ruckus surrounding me. hm, thank you Lord.

Was reminded today that being afraid, which is the opposite of trusting the lord, is a sin. Dang. My mind has been reeling with sin over fear of where the lord might lead me, or rather, where I know he's calling me for upcoming days.

I thought I'd be so eager to, i guess, indulge in all the material things I was without at beach project, but it was really sweet to see how none of those things are sufficient. Not my favorite television show, not my new mac ("Mason", though he works much better than Dellie), not my own bed, not the fully stocked fridge, and not even having free time. Reminds me of John 14:27-

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

God is proving this truth to be, well, true, now more than ever. Ha, imagine that:)

All in all, Beach project was seriously life changing. As cliche as that might sound. It's just so neat to see how He honors our prayers to challenge our hearts and to really change us from the inside, out. He does it, that's for sure. And he'll teach you how insufficient you are and that he really has to be your strength through those times. Funny, he doesn't have to be here for me; he doesn't have to care and guide me through life, but he is:) Shew, thank you, Dad. That's some grace.

Pieces of joy!

1) friends from home; spending time with them and their genuine interest in my summer.

2) feeling ridiculous while attempting to ichat

3) my mom talking in this squeaky voice 24/7, where did this come from?...hahah..gosh.

4) laser show! and wet bottoms after sitting on the previously rained-on grass

5) having ADD and not watching a single pitch or hit of the Braves game

6) going to a braves game and laser show all in a 5 hour span; hooray, atl!

7) wandering aimlessly around the house the first day home, in complete culture shock

8) seeing summer and mike outside of the Makai- weird, but great:)

9) RITAS lives on-- meeting with SBP friends and eating italian ice. Swedish fish flavored italian ice, to be exact. (not recommended)

10) laughing out loud at text messages

11) not being able to break the Barnes and Nobel habit; I'm here at this very moment.

12) not having unpacked from beach project, ahah..

13) getting to share my summer with the youth group's bible study:)

14) watching Sneaker Night Extreme on youtube for the first time in moooonths

15) Going to mom's new school and seeing all my old teachers from kindergarten, and my telling them I am a Junior in College, then their reaction.

16) buying school supplies. and my notebooks matching. Good news, I'm still lame:)

17) my sister

18) seeing my dad's heart change:) the lord is good.

19) laughing at how sore I am from running in Georgia. Hills are no fun.

20) browsing through pictures from beach project:)

21) going back to Milledgeville in the am!

22) cheerleading starting up tomorrow. we'll be practicing in the suuunshine for four hours. Coach texted "bring sunscreen" haha, sweet.

23) feeling like I'm 80 and not being able to remember what all has gone on this past week.

24) jboi cutting his locks!

25)learning (the hard way) what it looks like to live a life compelled by His love.

the end for now:)

hislove.

just came across this:)mm.

(Psalm 34:9-14)

Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

renewal

Sad story, I was writing this entry, and it just up and dissapeared; yes, completely gone, haha. I have no earthly idea where on the desktop it might be, but maybe someone will get to post a little somethin' somethin' on my blog as well. I think you'll notice the difference:)haha. Or atleast I hope.

This past week was really great. Felt for a bit like time was slipping away from me, and I was losing sight of why I was here in the first place, but after continual prayer, God's renewing my heart and spirit for sure. Purpose training last night was really sweet, we talked about being intentional with our time and how we spend it, and about what a difference it makes when we really plan our time like when we'll do quiet times, one on ones, journal, memorize scripture, prayer, make encouragements, do physical exercise, etc, etc. Crazy what a difference it made in the past week.

Ephesians 5:15-16 (New International Version)

¹⁵Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

And there it is, folks.

It's that time again, pieces of joy:)

1) our sadie hawkins group date; we had bought tie dye and water guns and splash balls for a tie dye fight, and put everything in the bathroom at the park. Who knew the doors automatically lock at 7:30, haha, daaanget. And so, we played keep away, and ate. A lot. The lord was just showing us how we didn't need earthly things to enjoy our time together, haha :)

2) running on the beach at night with lauren, john david, and victor

3) taking the lasagna out of the oven, and dropping it. Hm, I always knew there was a reason I didn't cook anything besides cereal.

4) praying with vacationing people on the beach, and being really encouraged:)

5) new friends at work; my Muslim friend is coming to a training next week:)

6) the skits performed by the boys, ahaha...I can only hope someone got them on video

7) talking to Jenna on the phone; HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY!!!! :))

8) passing out on the beach Sunday

9) GOING TO TARGET TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SUMMER!!!! AND GOING TO CHICK FIL A FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SUMMER, hahah..

10) running out of time to blog, once again, whoops.

his love:)

de⋅vot⋅ed

Happy Fourth. We are freeee. I might be taking that out of context, but atleast the color scheme is right on.

quick update with pieces of joy. I don't want to forget:)

1) my 3 quiet, sweet, and most chill roomies ever dressing as emo for our social
2) black fingernail polish that actually turned out grey, whoops.
3) going to 7 eleven for slurpies in our emo gear, and receiving some awesome looks. Quite frankly, I'd say we blended rather nicely with the Daytona community, haha.
4) making frienship bracelets and working on them for hours..but not even being halfway done with my bracelet. Oie veh.
5) receving a shipment of, no lie, 300 baby turtles. In a Fed Ex box. Kinda gross.
6) new friendships
7) having to actually think of something to do with my free time for the first time, ever.
8) mike millikan + straight legged jeans= hahaha
9) purple hair paint spray
10) reminiscing on previous fourth of Julys:)
11) planning encouragement for the upcoming week: Jonah 2:8
12) letters from friends:)
13) writing/sending out cheesy post cards
14) just now realizing I still have a purple streak in my hair from last night. I went to publix this morning..
15) foreshadowing joy: watching fireworks with friends:)
16) molls' witty comments this entire week.. my room is coming out of its' shell. I love it:)
17) Jess Sethman

that's all for now:) Going to read on the beach.
:) his love.


ps. word of the week :

de⋅vot⋅ed /dɪˈvoʊtɪd/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [di-voh-tid]–adjective zealous or ardent in attachment, loyalty, or affection

Synonyms:faithful, constant, loyal, devout.

Race Week, yes.

It's July 2nd. Where has the time gone? Honestly.

Been slacking quite a bit on the blogging, my apologies:) It's been two weeks since parents weekend when I last updated this little guy. A lot has happened within the fourteen days. Last week was a week of homesickness-- not so much for Fayetteville home, more of a missing friends from school, missing their love and their sweet hearts. Missing those relationships, I guess would be the right way to word it. It's very difficult to find too much alone time here, much less time to chat it up via tele, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch much :(
Anyhow, the homesickness started to overwhelm me last..Wednesday and Thursday, I think it was, so I just kept asking God to just comfort my heart when it longed for those people, and something really sweet happened: I saw a man in a WVU tshirt. Now, if you know anything about me, you know West Virginia has my heart ( or atleast a pretty big piece of it :) so, I began speaking with this man, and he said he was from Morgantown and had family in Wheeling, just like me. I chatted his family's ear off due to my current state of homesickness, and as his wife and kids were leaving, she...
1) gave me a $2 tip for printing her tshirts but even sweeter 2) he ran to the back of the store where I was working after having checked out and handed me this booklet that said " Let not your heart be troubled"; I opened it up, and inside were tons of encouraging scriptures. Want to know something funny? I hadn't even had the chance to tell this man I was with Campus Outreach and was a christian. Yes, maybe his wife told him since I vented to her, but either way, how good is the Lord? It just really opened my eyes to how he knows each of our hearts so well, and how he knows exactly what to cure our woes with. Needless to say, that day was my best day yet here in Daytona. I wonder if that man knows his kindness completely changed my attitude for the rest of the week. Hm.
Ah, and to top off the story, David Gridley visited me at my workplace later that day. A tangible taste of home:) "PTL" (Praise the Lord, haha, nice, but seriously.)

The weekend was a great one. We had a Super Hero social and went bowling. My bowling team dressed as Team Planet from Captain Planet. I was heart:) Sunday was the Sabbath. For the first time I rested one Sunday. Rested physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in Him. It was really sweet, and I've been so energized this whole week; I give credit to the Sabbath:)

This week has flown by already. Thursday, really?
Tomorrow is our High school Reunion social--my room are the emos. Yes. Going to the thrift store today to find some emo gear. Do emos wear fanny packs? Because I need a reason to buy one..

Race week in Daytona. Yeeeeeeees!!! Haha, actually I'm not a huge race fan, but I do wish I could go. We'll be evangelisin' Saturday, and I have a feeling there will be some serious crowds. I thought the beach evangelism would be super intimidating, but when you just trust that only God can ultimately call someone to a life with him, it's really great, and inspiring, and encouraging..makes your heart really break for the people who don't know him yet. Or don't want to.

This will be my first 4th of July not with my family plus Jenna Gridley. That makes me a little sad..also makes me feel like I'm growing up. Weird.

We're reading a really fantastic book called Living Sacrifice during our stay here in sweet Daytay. God's really revealing how much I allow emotions and feelings to lead me rather than his desires. Convicting, yes. But much needed to hear. It's difficult when the world tells us to "follow our heart", but the heart can be manipulated so easily. It's not often we're informed of that little side note.
"My dependence on my feelings obstructed my hearing God's voice of love." -Dr. Helen Roseveare
hello, self.

My favorite talk yet was this past Monday. A guy from Mercer, I should know his naaame...spoke on our role in the Church both now and after graduating. It's so refreshing to hear a talk directly applied to when we won't have our little niche of friends to attend church with. We'll be on our own, but it's sweet:)

This weeks verse is focused on being compelled to unity (Colossians 3:12-14) "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with eachother and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the lord forgave you and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
...Jesus loved his enemies, and we're called to love ours, and forgive them, just as he did. hello conviction, once again.

So much I have to say.. but so little time. Either way, God's moving like no other. Suprised?
Me either:)

his love.


ps. shout out to taylor goodman,haha,I love you and miss your laugh every minute.

But as for me..

Reading Psalm 73 this morning. I heard a podcast on my way down to Daytona, and it talked about how people who are "feelers" really relate to the Psalms. That being said, I am a feeler:)
I love what this verse says, though.
Psalm 73:25
"Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire
besides you.

My flesh and heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. "

Ah, and then verse 28
"But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds."

God has honestly placed me in a position where I am forced to allow him to be my strength, and portion; my all. It's funny to think how often I think I can accomplish deeds on my own, and through my own flesh. But in reality, it's all him. Good to remember. Great to meditate on.

Leaving for Orlando to visit grandparents:) as much as i love their love, it's still nothing compared to His. Crazy to think, huh? Hard to grasp.

his love:)..and that's saying a lot.

Mis Padres

Sitting in the Best Western with Mom, Bay, and Kirk. I never realized how the spaciousness in our little Makai hotel room was lacking until now..but we'll just say it gives the room a little personality, no? It will be really odd not sleeping in between Molls and Elle, and losing my phone in between the small crack where our two beds are pushed together during the night. Did I mention the television is on? Feels like ages since I've watched tv. I honestly haven't missed it. It's a nice habit to eat your Cheerios in the morning with the Bible to read instead of Good Morning America. I'd say the day is started off better:)
The past week I was unable to have quiet times every morning, so got in the word in the afternoon. It's quite a little challenge to think of Him throughout the day without having that initial meeting. I'm really enjoying figuring out what works for me and God. Reminds you that it really is a relationship.

That time again, pieces of joy, here I come:)

1)Family coming to visit in Daytona, and my trying to pick Bayley up when I saw her, but failing. I should hit up the gym..
2)giving a girl a sweet Lizard henna tat, and my manager saying, " You did great! We're not gonna be sending you back to Georgia." Comforting.
3)Running at 7 am and jumping over a giant sand castle. Success!
4)Cracker Barrel:)
5)Mom's reaction to seeing my humble abode for the summer..
6)Girl talk by the pool after work
7)text messages from Jenna Gridley
8)writing post cards:)
9)seeing Elle's sunburn, ahaha.
10)wearing a two-piece, bearing my one piece tan line (..foreshadowing joy)
11)encouraging texts:)
12)sharing what God's teaching here with my fam
13)Bayley sending Dad a text message dissing his hotel choice, ahaha..
14)awkwardly introducing my family to SBP friends
15)seeing my Nana and Pawpa Sunday :) Yet another foreshadowing piece o' joy, haha.

well, I suppose that's all. We're off in search of ice cream. Wish us luck.
his love:)