Tumblr!

hi friends! I've switched over to Tumblr as my primary blogger website! Keep up with me at

http://kelleysue.tumblr.com/

:)

short-cut

Woke up to take an early morning run today. The weather was perfect, my breathing was steady, I may or may not have dropped the key to my apt (...found it, thankfully), and the sun shined almost flawlessly through the tree branches. Yes, it this morning was one of those days. The ones where I cannot get enough of creation. The ones where you realize just how small and insignificant you and your HUGE problems (ha) really are.

Days like today are my favorite (plus, it's Sunday, which I've mentioned in previous entries as my fave day, so it's only fitting..)

Lately I've been confused, to say the least. Confused, frustrated, uncertain, and emotionally overwhelmed. Why? Great question. I'd been trying to figure it out myself for the past few weeks, and finally I realized today during my run. As I started running behind the dorms, I took in the swerving sidewalks. It was then that I noticed I could cut right through the fairly large span of grass to reach the sidewalk much closer to my destination. It seemed like a super difficult mental game to keep myself on the sidewalk, taking all my might to focus on what was ahead, not on the tempting short cut a few footsteps out of reach.

I managed to make it all the way around the sidewalk without the short-cut, but then I really felt like God was trying to show me something (Obviously, this staying on the path was a much more dramatic scenario then I'd planned..). He told me I was doing this in many areas in my life. I've been so focused on the shortcut next to me, and it's possibly being much more easy going, that I've forgotten to just look at where God has placed me at this exact moment. I've forgotten to just endure the situations he's provided for my growth, and just taken the short cut.

It feels like I've been taking every short-cut possible in..

Discipline of my actions--much easier to just give in, but I won't experience God like he's planned.

Relationships-- Spending time, making a phone call, taking a moment to listen; I've taken the short-cut of placing each action of loving into my own schedule, and to ultimately fulfill my needs when the word says..

1Jo 3:16

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

Devoting myself to God -- I schedule him in appropriately, and the greatest short-cut of all is that I have completely disregarded the power of the holy spirit. I have been praying these simple prayers, ones that are comfortable, not these extravagant prayers, because I've been doubting his ability. I have created a short-cut that allows me to not really be established or challenged through my experiences when he wants the power of the holy spirit dwelling in his children to be used. By taking a quicker route, I lose sight of how the spirit can break his child just to build them back up in the way he sees best fit.

My desires-- I'm practically telling God I don't believe he can truly satisfy, and so I take short-cuts and let my emotions take charge instead of allowing him to be my strength during weakness, and confessing where I need help. My desire to have control is stripping me of the gift of growing into a woman of God and experiencing his love (way better than any emotion I can muster) the way he planned.

Thankful for where I've been-- This too, a short-cut, I have focused so much on where I'm headed, that God has had to take me back to my roots(ish). I took a shortcut to pride, that I have been reminded of what I've been saved from. It's sad when you somehow lose sight of how transforming God's love is. Trust me, he'll remind you.

My priorities-- Excuses, excuses, excuses = shortcuts. I remember how frustrated I used to get when I'd create selfish reasons as to why I couldn't be somewhere. And here I am again. Shortcuts in priorities I feel are ultimately selfish. I'm missing out on the life-on-life relationships that God placed in my path. A chance to hear what others are dealing with, and to listen, and to share. Yes, I'm a student, and that's something to glorify God in, but.. exactly that, the whole point is glorifying HIM not myself, my worries, my excuses..

Psa 119:36

Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!

love-- I turned it to the world, and people in the world before my God. I've left him standing at the altar, with the holes in his hands, weeping. He gave himself up for me, but I put everything before him and took advantage of the gift of love he provided. I took a short-cut by loving the world before him, when I could be experiencing him as my first love, being totally and madly in love with him.

Gosh, I know there are tons more, but just think about it. Where are you taking short-cuts, and how is it effecting each aspect of your life?

Lord, thank you for loving me like you do. Thank you for even caring enough to seek me out, and to show where I went wrong. I pray you break my heart that's so hardened by taking the easy way out. You never said loving you wouldn't be a challenge, but you did promise to hold me the entire way. God, help me to fall so deeply in love with you that it's something I just cannot go a second without. If anyone is struggling with these things as well God, I just pray you remind them of your provision and that you remind them that you've known you would catch them when they fell since the day they were created. Break them down, God, continue to reveal how pale in comparison our plans are when yours prevail. I love you so much, Dad. Thank you, thank you, thank you . In your son's name- Amen.

His love.

worth a read.

http://www.4marks.com/articles/details.html?article_id=4543

In July 2008 a severe persecution of Christians broke out in the Indian state of Orissa. A 22 year old nun was burnt to death when angry mobs burnt down an orphanage in Khuntpali village in Barhgarh district, another nun was gang raped in Kandhamal, mobs attacked churches, torched vehicles, houses of Christians destroyed, and Fr. Thomas Chellen, director of the pastoral center that was destroyed with a bomb, had a narrow escape after a Hindu mob nearly set him on fire. The end result saw more than 500 Christians murdered, and thousands of others injured and homeless after their houses were reduced to ashes. Recently a strange and dramatic event took place in Orissa, which has many people talking and wondering.

In recent months, herds of wild elephants have begun to storm villages that are home to some of the worst persecutors of Christians during the troubles. In one village, where in August a year ago the Christians had to run for their lives while their homes were being destroyed by rioters, a herd of elephants emerged from the surrounding jungle exactly one year later, in July 2009, at the same time of the day of the attack.

These elephants first attacked a rock crusher machine owned by a key leader of the persecution movement. They then went on to destroy his house and farms.

Hundreds of villagers have been forced to take shelter in camps in the Indian state of Orissa after repeated attacks by a herd of elephants.

Seven people have been killed and several others injured in attacks by a herd of 12-13 elephants over the past few weeks in Kandhamal district.

Over 2,500 people living in 45 villages have been affected by the attacks, district chief Krishen Kumar said.

It is, however, unclear why this herd of elephants migrated from the Lakheri sanctuary in a neighbouring district. He said the herd had travelled some 300km into Kandhamal, and even entered a town in the district. Wildlife officials were camping at the site of the attacks and trying to find out why the elephants had come out of their sanctuary. The villagers say elephants attack their areas in herds, causing heavy destruction.

Gaining momentum, they rampaged through other non-Christian homes, demolishing gardens and singling out the home of persecutors, leaving Christian homes untouched.

These strange attacks have spread, and according to a report, the elephants have already destroyed more than 700 houses in 30 villages, and killed five people. Nobody in this area has seen or even imagined the unique appearance of a herd of wild elephants such as this. The elephants are not ordinary elephants; they appear to be on a mission.

Typically, smaller elephants enter a village first, appearing to survey the community. They then rejoin the larger herd, and larger elephant soon follow and get the job done.

The ministry partner in India stated “We think that it might have something to do with the avenging the blood of martyrs. In fact the fear of God has fallen on the local people, who have labeled these elephants “Christian elephants.”

With little help coming from the administration, the villagers have taken to road blockades. “The elephants have destroyed crops and selected houses. But officials too express helplessness. “There is no permanent habitat of elephants in Sundargarh. They come from Bihar, Chhattisgarh and Jharkhand where their habitats have shrunk. But is not clear how and why these elephants reached Orissa.

..wow.

his love.

comfort zone

Friday again, already? Having a break from school just within reach provides some serious motivation, which is much needed. Everyone talks about this 'senioritis' deal, but what about us Juniors? Don't we deserve some sort of diagnosis? Junior pox. Juniorization. Flujunior. Juniorphobia (okay, I'm not scared to be a junior..). Well, whatever the name, I'm feeling it!

Been reading this awesome devotional with First Christian Church, "The Relationship Principles of Jesus." I highhhhly recommend it! This past week was focused on judgement (I'm a little behind, don't.... judge...). It brought up the point of why we as christians are sometimes more likely to be judgmental--"Because they have forgotten how deeply they need God's grace." I cannot forget how much I need his forgiveness and I cannot deny to actually recognize that I have sinned and really believe I have been forgiven. If I can see the truth, I become more merciful, and less judgmental. "Mercy triumphs over judgment!" (James 2:13) So true, huh?

Ah, and the self test section.

I have only made it to question two ( there are like, twenty or eighty questions..). I'm stuck on the "Questions about Ignoring the Plank in My Eye". There are a lot. When I really thought about this just in general yesterday, I was just..disgusted, really. Or at least at first. Then I decided to actually read the question

-- "What do I know to be true that I'm pretending is not true...

1) In my relationship with others 2) In my relationship with God? 3) In my thought life?

...And that's as far as I got. I absolutely could not believe how stumped I was, and still kind of am. How I am so, so quick to focus on the sin of others just so I can hide from my own. So, I started thinking a little more, and realized at the heart of it (I think there's a lot more, but for now..)

I've managed to put God outside my comfort zone. I've been pretending I'm totally comfortable, but something is off. Somewhere my heart has hardened. Then, it hit me. It's not comfortable to let someone else take control of your life. It's way more comfortable to be stubborn in my ways and continue to keep God in this confined, emotionless bubble.

The times I've felt the closest and just wondered how I was ever not so in love with God is when I've trusted him most, and when I give him control and let him turn down the roads I would never have chosen on my own.

I also realize I've sought comfort in other people. It's so strange how when someone enters your comfort zone, the walls around your heart seem to literally melt away. It's great to have relationships within your range of comfort, and those relationships will test you for sure, but something about not knowing is almost exciting now. I don't think God was ever meant to be inside my comfort zone. Yes, he provides comfort, and I long to experience a confident relationship that's genuine, but he also loves to challenge our minds, our hearts, our sincerity. It's how he allows us to see where we need his wisdom and how he will grow us up in him.

Main Entry:	comfort zone1
Part of Speech:	n
Definition: "	the range of temperature within which an environment is comfortable for most people with no heating or cooling necessary What if everything in your life was continuously constant? Nothing about you ever changed. I cannot imagine. I need and crave this heating, and cooling. I want God to put me in uncomfortable situations, an unknown environment so my faith may be established. I may break a sweat, experience some discomfort, but that way he can be the one to cool me off and provide the anecdote he knows I need. Maybe it's gatorade, or maybe just some water instead. Ha, strange analogy, but it kind of makes sense...maybe:) Or maybe I should just go workout. And drink gatorade. :) "Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word." 2 Thes 2:16-17 I'll post again soon. his love!

Free write

It's been said that I should free write. I feel like I usually write fairly freely (alliteration?). Really is amazing how I start out not quite sure what on earth to ramble on about, and then I get going, and somehow he does this blog justice, or so I'd like to think, by providing a little clarity on the chosen matter. :) So, thanks, God for not making me appear half as crazy as my thoughts might actually be.

Naturally, the future is still on my mind, but I don't feel as if the load is quite as heavy anymore.

Pro 19:21 "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."

HIS purpose will stand. Wondering (okay, worrying..) over which internship to apply for, where I'll live, how I'll get by financially--he'll prevail, not me. not my purpose. not my motives. not my emotions. I just have to TRUST.

Prov. 16:1-3

"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord .

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.

Commit your work to the Lord , and your plans will be established."

es·tab·lish [ih-stab-lish]

--to put beyond doubt

So, I've actually been doubting God?

..Yeah, I think I have.

I say "I trust him", and I think many times I do, but I've allowed a lot of different aspects to be infected by other's opinions, my own insecurities, selfish thoughts, discouragement, and even strangely encouragement in my own efforts.

So what have I been looking to for guidance, really?

..Whatever feels most comfortable? Whatever is easiest? Wherever I'll gain most praise?

..So, It's been me looking within.. myself for the wisdom? Man.

(ha, see what I mean by this blog helping me understand)

James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."

What am I actually doubting, then?

--His goodness.

My mind is being tossed back and forth between God and the world.

Why on earth would I allow that when the Lord KNOWS my heart. HE knows ME, and I know HIM.

I wondered why I've been feeling so unstable in many areas. Hm. Lately I've been so moldable, so easily swayed. In fact, I've been that way most of my life. I don't want to be the one tossed back and forth between the world and God. I will stand firm in my faith, I will not be double minded. :)

Yes, my heart is subject to change according to where he decides to call me (that's okay, he is God after all..)but in every matter, He is sovereign over all trials, and his will is sovereign over all the little insignificant plans building up in my head.

Worrying about tomorrow never did nobody no good.

...Southern spin on Matthew 6:34?

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth....For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matt 6:19 & 21

I cannot continue to make all these little earthly achievements and plans my "treasures". It's like saying to God, "eh, you're alright, but I doubt you could possibly be better than this."

ah, lots to learn. The plus side? ..there's always room to grow :)

pieces of joy!

- friendships and the ability to just relate in general

-realizing it's already March 7! Only 2 months left of school before becoming a senior!

-the possibility of going to Anna Maria Island for spring break, and getting to stay with my precious grandparents

-still attempting to write music

-God showing me I needed to do a little heart-check

-eating at the GREEK restaurant downtown. mm!

-going to bay's soccer tournament last weekend and watching her be awesome:)

-watching 13 Going on 30 with mom and bay, and remembering how much I really truly love that movie..

-going with Tae to Bartram Forest and walking her little pup!

-three hour conversations at Starbucks :)

-walking halfway to workout at the Depot and then deciding to turn around, and not workout.

-pumped for spring, and getting to bring my bicycle back to school after next weekend! Oh, and pumped for taking pictures of a sunny sky!

-running outside, and not in a sweatshirt!

whoops, out of time once again.

I'll be posting later about some organizations to checkout:)

-his love! that's all.

lately

Hi, I'm a grownup (when did this happen?) And so,  I have now been immersed into the real world of PR. 

Or so I like to think.

 Two events in the span of two weeks doesn't exactly go hand in hand with the words 'relaxation' and 'rest' as my last blogposts have seemed to expand on. The video link attached is from the production of RENT here at Georgia College (http://www.youtube.com/user/kelsue22) which is being performed this week. Also, we planned our Homecoming Alumni Reception, which took place this past Saturday--SUCCESS!

It's been a whirlwind experience trying to plan, and well... finding time to plan in itself, but I'm learning more people skills than my comfort zone can manage. There is no comfort zone in Public Relations, but I think I can learn to be okay with that. 

The future has been a topic heavy on my heart and stirring in my mind. This summer especially. Why do I even worry?.. My heart longs for traveling to Uganda, my pocket responds, "no." Comforting to think his plan might involve simply sticking around Milledgeville, despite my mind screaming, " ..but you just want to get away for a while!" Seriously, though. The urge to travel is overwhelming. I mentioned Uganda to my parents..haha. Yeahh... Either way, I'll check it out. Make the most of my options and opportunities. Yes?

Speaking of Uganda, found this website from a friend's facebook:

http://www.beadforlife.org/

The Ugandan women make handmade bead jewelry, and it provides work for them :) You can order offline! Do it! You can also host bead parties to help support. Be on the lookout for one at Georgia College ;)

mm, time for a few pieces of joy.

-awesome few days of sunshine

-the week starting to wined down

-God still managing to rip my attention away from all these silly earthly things that I like to think are worth something

-Realizing his finding worth in me, despite this and that and yadda,yadda,yadda

-Watching others growing with him and seeing how his changing a heart has a total different effect than my trying to change someone.

-my little sister sending my a small heart-shaped cookie cake with the word "hot" written in pink icing, haha..quit growing up, bay.

-looking at her pictures on facebook and being so thankful I never had anything to post my pictures on as a middle schooler. Eternal blackmail.

-The gift of being in an encouraging relationship with such a great and super loving young man for 6 months ..and 2 days. :)

-Talking about house searching with tae and getting really puuuumped! ps. if you live in a house in Milledgeville and it will be for rent after this year, let me know please, please! p.s.s only contact if your place has AC and heat ;)

-Slowly but surely learning to write music

-Thinking about summertime! This cold weather deal is really putting a damper on things. Florida is beginning to look pretty inviting.

-Signing up for the half marathon in Nashville very soooon! And teaming up with www.runformercy.org 

-Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (..is that the name?) REALLY great movie.

-Good books and time to read :)

-Just laughing at how I try to plan every little thing, and noticing how different his calling for me is from my own

-Wearing flip flops when its 49 degrees

well, off to class! I'll leave on this: Psalm 37:4-6

Delight yourself in the Lord , and he will give you the desires of your heart.
		Commit your way to the Lord ; trust in him, and he will act.
		He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

his love.

Safe.

Sunday Mornings are my favorite. There's just something really comforting and restful knowing you have all morning to read, write, listen to music.. whatever it is, I like it. Interesting how much of a difference my week schedule makes on my emotions. I usually enjoy my week, but gosh is it exhausting. Even Fridays and Saturdays manage to be tiring now. So thank you, Sunday, for you I am super thankful. Also, First Christian Church doesn't start until 11, so for that, I am also thankful. Haha :)

Read a little Hosea yesterday and that sort of carried into today. It focuses on Israel and Judah being unrepentant--

"Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up." (6:1)

"Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth." (6:3)

How sweet is this? :) Let us press on to know him.

He wants to be the one to heal me, he wants to bind me back up after it seems like everything has been torn apart. I love the image of him binding hearts. It's like literally stitching them back together. Holding them together. Or maybe it's like crocheting, I can relate to that a little easier ;) haha, that's a lie. But really, that's beautiful that not only does he heal our wounds, but he binds them up with our hope stored in heaven. It's such an assurance that we don't have to feel hopeless, letting our tear continue to infect our hearts. And the hearts of those around us. He's healing us, and that's huge.

Why do I even fear, ever?

Isaiah 43:1 "Do not fear; for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine."

mm, found this :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciW8r-5kCDY

>>

A little Phil Wickham- "Safe"

One verse really stood out to me, he says, "The hands that hold the world are holding your heart." The title of the song is fitting, huh?

you are safe :)

his love!