Free write

It's been said that I should free write. I feel like I usually write fairly freely (alliteration?). Really is amazing how I start out not quite sure what on earth to ramble on about, and then I get going, and somehow he does this blog justice, or so I'd like to think, by providing a little clarity on the chosen matter. :) So, thanks, God for not making me appear half as crazy as my thoughts might actually be.

Naturally, the future is still on my mind, but I don't feel as if the load is quite as heavy anymore.

Pro 19:21 "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."

HIS purpose will stand. Wondering (okay, worrying..) over which internship to apply for, where I'll live, how I'll get by financially--he'll prevail, not me. not my purpose. not my motives. not my emotions. I just have to TRUST.

Prov. 16:1-3

"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord .

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.

Commit your work to the Lord , and your plans will be established."

es·tab·lish [ih-stab-lish]

--to put beyond doubt

So, I've actually been doubting God?

..Yeah, I think I have.

I say "I trust him", and I think many times I do, but I've allowed a lot of different aspects to be infected by other's opinions, my own insecurities, selfish thoughts, discouragement, and even strangely encouragement in my own efforts.

So what have I been looking to for guidance, really?

..Whatever feels most comfortable? Whatever is easiest? Wherever I'll gain most praise?

..So, It's been me looking within.. myself for the wisdom? Man.

(ha, see what I mean by this blog helping me understand)

James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."

What am I actually doubting, then?

--His goodness.

My mind is being tossed back and forth between God and the world.

Why on earth would I allow that when the Lord KNOWS my heart. HE knows ME, and I know HIM.

I wondered why I've been feeling so unstable in many areas. Hm. Lately I've been so moldable, so easily swayed. In fact, I've been that way most of my life. I don't want to be the one tossed back and forth between the world and God. I will stand firm in my faith, I will not be double minded. :)

Yes, my heart is subject to change according to where he decides to call me (that's okay, he is God after all..)but in every matter, He is sovereign over all trials, and his will is sovereign over all the little insignificant plans building up in my head.

Worrying about tomorrow never did nobody no good.

...Southern spin on Matthew 6:34?

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth....For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matt 6:19 & 21

I cannot continue to make all these little earthly achievements and plans my "treasures". It's like saying to God, "eh, you're alright, but I doubt you could possibly be better than this."

ah, lots to learn. The plus side? ..there's always room to grow :)

pieces of joy!

- friendships and the ability to just relate in general

-realizing it's already March 7! Only 2 months left of school before becoming a senior!

-the possibility of going to Anna Maria Island for spring break, and getting to stay with my precious grandparents

-still attempting to write music

-God showing me I needed to do a little heart-check

-eating at the GREEK restaurant downtown. mm!

-going to bay's soccer tournament last weekend and watching her be awesome:)

-watching 13 Going on 30 with mom and bay, and remembering how much I really truly love that movie..

-going with Tae to Bartram Forest and walking her little pup!

-three hour conversations at Starbucks :)

-walking halfway to workout at the Depot and then deciding to turn around, and not workout.

-pumped for spring, and getting to bring my bicycle back to school after next weekend! Oh, and pumped for taking pictures of a sunny sky!

-running outside, and not in a sweatshirt!

whoops, out of time once again.

I'll be posting later about some organizations to checkout:)

-his love! that's all.